Thoughts

All the things I have struggled with for the last seven years-all the ups and downs and physical manifestations of my emotional drama-i didn't know what it was until this summer when it got SO MUCH worse. I still wasn't ready to say I suffered from "depression". Then I saw this video about depression on some one's blog and it was like someone made a video about me and all I felt and was going through! It was a wake up call for me. I knew I was depressed and needed to do something about it. Things are much better now than they were this summer. This summer I was struggling with depression. Now when I get a little down I get a little nervous that I could end up back to where I was emotionally this summer so I fight and struggle and try real hard to find happiness and do things I know will help battle depression. Here is the thing though, it seems like everyone is suffering from depression these days. I know that depression is very real and there are those who suffer in ways and depths I will never understand, but I also believe we are so quick to diagnosis regular life as depression. Media tells us that we should all be happy and thrilled with life ALL the time or something is wrong. We see these perfect lives portrayed in movies and song and we begin to believe that everyone else has these perfect lives and do not go thru all the ups and downs and struggles we seem to face. Everyone else seems happy all the time and we are not, so we must be depressed. Maybe it is just NORMAL to have emotional ups and downs and struggles! That is what life is. We aren't all messed up- we are all normal- struggling to make it through each day and each trial we encounter. Sometimes it means we will be sad and down and not want to deal with life. I don't know- just my thoughts right now. This summer I was truly struggling with depression. Right now, I am just struggling with life and all it throws at me and, for me, I am not sure that equals I am depressed. but what do i know?

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