Last night I read Audrey a new book from one of our favorite authors- Mo Willems. It was the new An Elephant and Piggie Book- I'm a Frog. We love the piggie and Gerald books! They bring deep belly laughs from all of us-no matter how many times we read them.
I'm a Frog was different though. It made me think. I read it 14 hrs ago and am still thinking about it.The book is about pretending. Piggie is pretending to be a frog-it is freaking Gerald out a bit. He doesn't understand why piggie is a frog and he is worried he will turn into a frog- he doesn't want to have to eat flies!
"It is okay, Gerald. It is pretend."
"IT IS THE END!?!"
"No, Gerald. Pre-tend. I am pretending."
"What is pre-tend-ing?"
"Pretending is when you act like something you are not."
"Wow... And you can just do that?! You can just go out and pretend to be something you are not!?"
"Sure. Everyone pretends."
"Even grown-up people?"
"All the time."
This where I started thinking. Yes, grown ups pretend all the time, but should we?
Is pretending a child's game or a way of life? Do we pretend to be okay in hopes that one day we will be? Is it okay to pretend we know what we are doing or is it better to honestly say we don't have a clue? Is pretending a means to an end? If I pretend to understand and then work hard to figure it out until true understanding comes, is that okay or deception? If someone asks me how I am doing, do I pretend to be good so as not to add stress to the person's life or to prevent them from being uncomfortable or to just get out of the situation as soon as possible? When does pretending turn into lying or deception? Where is the line? How much truth is too much? How much sharing is too much?Glennon Melton talks about this a little in her book, Carry On, Warrior. She had decided to be completely honest in everything she said. She was going to be free and introduce herself to everyone by letting them know exactly who she was-she was a recovering drug addict, alcoholic, bulimic, and jail bird. Her sister pleaded with her not to do this. She told her to she needed to filter. And by filter she meant lie. For the sake of Glennon's kids and family, her sister told her to lie to people and not be so honest. There is definitely a line you should not cross and airing your dirty laundry to every person you talk to is not the answer, but what is the answer? Should adults pretend or should we, at all times be truthful beings? I don't have the answers, but would love to know your thoughts- if you have any feelings about "pretending" let me know- either comment below or email me at sebingham78 at gmail dot com.
I do believe having a positive attitude is very important and if we focus on the good things in our lives, the hard things don't seem so bad. I guess we are not necessarily pretending to have it all together when we keep the focus on the positive things in our lives and quietly acknowledge that there are challenges but that we won't let them rule our lives. All I know is that I have spent years pretending to be someone I wasn't and I am done with that, but when does being honest and open become over sharing? I don't want to plaster on the "fake" Sara ever again but at times I fear being real with certain people and it seems easier to pretend then to deal with people. I have always preferred to be alone and on my own- way easier than dealing with people! Even as a kid my parent's said I liked to play by myself. I remember always feeling overwhelmed with all the noise and craziness a family of 9 would bring, so I would go hide in my closet with a good book and just read and enjoy the quiet. I am a loner who pretends to want to be fun and involved in things but really prefers to at home alone or with my little family. Why do we all pretend even as grown up people?
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