For Abby

My friend called me the other night with some deep questions on her mind. With my kids running around asking for dinner, our conversation was a little short. I have thought a lot about what she asked and said since. I just wanted to post a few things that I hope might help her find what she is looking for. She asked me how I know Heavenly Father loves me. I think my answer to this question has had several differing answer at different times of my life. I know that we are all loved by our Heavenly Father and that we each feel and understand that love in different ways depending on our circumstances and how the Spirit communicates with us. Lately, I have seen and felt His love in the small daily blessings that let me know that I matter to Him. The little tender mercies that aren't things that are necessary to survive but that are just reminders, to me, that He cares and is aware. For example, I was sick and a sweet girl in our ward called me up and said I am bringing dinner over at 6, okay? I wasn't dying, Nate can cook, but just not having to have that worry was a blessing and proof to me that He knew what could make my day easier. It is the hug I received at church last week from a lady I do not even know- she said she felt like I really needed a hug- and I really did. It is the answers to prayers that come in strange ways and from strange sources. It is the extra patience and understanding that has slowly started to enter my life after months of fasting and praying for those things so that I could be a better mom and wife. It is the sweet spirit I feel when I really study my scriptures or hear the children in Primary sing I Love the See the Temple with all of their little hearts. Abby, it is the little things that remind us of what we all once knew, that we are children of our Heavenly Father and He loves us more than we can understand. He loves us despite our weakness, our shortcomings, our mistakes and our doubts. He loves us- He really does! Search your soul, Abby, you know this is true- it is just easy to forget as we rush around everyday concerned with mortal things- focus on the eternal. I just finished reading an incredible book, The Brothers, by Chris Stewart. It is a novel about the War in Heaven. I know it is fiction, but there are incredible truths in this book too. I want to give you a few quotes from this book that made me remember to put my focus on the eternal. ". . .Father explained,'I am sending you to earth at a very treacherous time. Once you are there, you will forget everything. And the things you will deal with will seem so important to you. Your everyday problems will seem incredibly large-your work and your school, your family and friends, what to wear, how to look. Are you fat? Are you strong? Are you pretty? Are you smart? Do you make enough money? Do other people like you? Why weren't you chosen for a game or group activity? Why isn't life always fair? Worries such as these may consume you and take all your time. "'You may obsess with disappointments; you may put all your focus on the pain. It will be easy to forget that life is always good-that whether you are here or on earth, you are meant to find joy.' ". . .But if you listen, I will tell you. If you listen closely, you will know. I will whisper to you through father's blessings and a mother's sweet songs. I will talk to you through my prophets and the words they write down. I will give a special blessing to you through a chosen patriarch. And there are other gifts I will send you: bishops, teachers, family members, and friends. I will send my Spirit to guide you. I will not leave you alone. "' and remember, my children,' the Father said, looking at all of them, 'it doesn't matter so much what you know, but it very much matters who you are! And who you are isn't left here in the premortal world. The veil over your memories won't change the spirit inside. Who you are doesn't change when you go down to earth, and the sacrifices you have made here will help to carry you through.'"